Christmas with Lynch
It was a snowy night this Christmas, very cold and icy outside. Shannon and I had planed this night for months now. We decided to go to church, and eat as many “body” of God bread things as we could possible. We had it planned out perfectly. When we both got to church we ran up stairs to ring the bell when church started. That was always one of my favorite things to do at Church. We also played many jokes on people at our Church service that night besides our plan to eat those bread like things.
I still remember sitting up stairs with Shannon. “Allison lets spit on that bald guys head! It will be so funny.”
“Okay well right after we spit on his head, duck as fast as you can so he doesn’t know it was us.” I said to Shannon trying to sound like a ninja.
“Okay yeah that’s a good plan. But gather as much spit as you can right now and when I say three we will spit at the same time.” Shannon added
“But we have to make sure our parents watching us while we do this.” I then said making sure we wouldn’t get in trouble.
“Okay ready, 1, 2, 3! Spit Allison.” We then both spit on his baldhead, and ducked down as fast as we could. After a couple seconds we stood up to look at him and he was rubbing his head. Shannon and I got the giggles and starting laughing hysterically until our parents yelled us at.
Then all of a sudden our parents dragged us downstairs, and we realized it was time for our master plan to come in handy. So the both of us went into separate lines to get our bread. After we went through the first time we meet at the back of the lines and switched lines. We then meet in the back again and switched jackets and went to the line we started it. After that round we switched lines one more time. In the end we both ended up with four parts of “god’s body.” Both of us loved these, they way they stuck to the roof of our mouths, the way they tasted. We loved everything about them and could resist eating more and more. Our parents after a while of our plan figured out what we were doing and we got in trouble with them and never did it again. They told us that we were killing God himself. Of course Shannon and I believed us, I mean we were about like 7 years old so we didn’t know right.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
short story Kians Life
One day Kian was sitting on his couching thinking, and looking around for things on his body. Then all of a sudden he realized that his mole turned into the shape of Texas. He felt like that was a little strange, so he called the doctor and set up an appointment. That night he started to get really worried that on the morning his mole would turn in the shape of California or maybe even Florida. Kian just couldn’t stop think about it all night, but then when he fell asleep he started to dream about the mole getting bigger and bigger every second. After three days in his dream the mole took up all of his body. He then woke up screaming at the top of his lungs, screaming like a little girl. Everyone in his family rushed into the room to see if everything was okay.
In the morning all he could do was stare at his Texas look a like mole, which was right down into between his man boobs. When he went to the doctor he got so nervous he almost peed his pants. The receptionist named Sally Gowinkle called his name and said “Kian Gunn? Kian the doctor is ready for you now.”
“Hey yeah i'm right here. Where should I go?”
“Just follow me, I’ll so you the way” said Sally
Right when Kian entered the room the doctor right away said “Where is that disgusting mole Kian?”
Kian then lifted up his shirt and pointed at it. The doctor was stunned.
“Wow you were right, it does look like Texas. You know I used to like right there” The doctor used his mole as a map and pointed out Dallas, Texas. “Yep those were the good days. But now I live here in Durango…” Kian cut him off right in the middle of his sentence.
“Can you just take a look at my mole and tell me what’s up with it.”
“Yeah sure kid…..mhmmm…ummm…uh oh…yeah we have a slight problem here.”
“What, what doctor what’s wrong?” said Kian
“Well your mole…well it could be cancerous.”
“Are you kidding me, really, cancerous? Wow well what do we do doc?”
“Well we will have to do a standard procedure and burn that mole off.”
“Okay well can you do it now?” said Kian very concerned.
“Well I guess, mhmm, yeah I can make you an appointment for later on today. How about you come back in around 4:30?”
“Umm okay I will! Thank you so much Sally” said Kian very happily.
When Kian left the hospital, he saw a midget walk in, he screamed, and ran like a little girl all the back to his house. He almost started crying he was so scared of midgets.
“So Kian, did you get your hideous mole taken off?”
“No mom not yet, but the doctor said it might be cancerous! So I am going back around 4:30 and getting it taken off.”
“Wow really cancerous! That is so scary.” She went over to hug Kian and started crying. Kian then also started to cry it was so tragic. “Let me take a good look at this mole honey.” Kian lifted up his shirt and she screamed “I have never seen anything so cool in my life. A mole in the shape of Texas who would have guessed! We should call in people to take pictures then maybe we, I mean you can become famous. Just think about it ‘Mole Man’ you would be on every newspaper!”
“Mom no, I don’t want people to know about this mole, and I want it off as soon as possible before I don’t know maybe before the cancer spreads into my body!”
Around 4:30 Kian left his house and headed straight towards the hospital, he ran as quickly as he could he just wanted to get this hideous Texas mole off of him. When he got to the hospital he ran right to the room he was in before and Sally was waiting for him there.
“What took you so long?” she said right as he walked in the door.
He glanced at her and said “What are you talking about it is exactly 4:30! I am on time!”
“Oh right, for a second I thought I said to be here at 4 but I guess not, wow I’m getting old!” she said laughing hysterically. “Okay now I need you to lay back, okay just breath nice and easy. Don’t move a muscle. Ready 1, 2, 3! Ah hah I got it. Now don’t move just yet.
“Really it was that quick? I didn’t feel a thing” The image of the doctor rippled in his mind. Then all of a sudden Kian woke up to a beeping noise, and he realized that he was in the emergency room. He looked down at his stomach and saw that there was a wrap around his stomach right where his mole used to be. Kian was so happy, he couldn’t hide it. So he screamed at the stop of his lungs yelling “Yes, I’m alive!”
He then saw his mother walking over to him telling him to be quite.
“Mom is everything okay?”
“Yes, they got the mole off, but they think that the cancer spread into your body already…..Kian hello are you there?”
“Yeah sorry I just don’t know what to say. This is such a big deal.”
“Sweetie don’t worry everything will be alright. I promise you. They don’t even know for sure if it spread in your body.”
“So you are telling me that, my hideous mole could have had cancer but the Doctor doesn’t know for sure or not. And it might have got into my system, so we don’t even know for sure if I have cancer. Wow this is fucked up….excuse my language mom…sorry but this is really ffuu….messed up!”
Kian’s mom then just sat there staring at him, she looked as if she was confused, like she didn’t know what the hell was going on. Then all of a sudden she screamed at the top of her lungs, she was like an animal in a fight to survive. When she was done screaming she started crying and went over to hug Kian. Ring, ring ring, ring ring, “hello? Yes this is her. Good news really? What is it? Ahh that is so stress relieving thank you Sally. Ahh thank you so much! God bless you!”
“Mom? Who was that?”
“That was Doctor Gowinkle, she has splendid good news!”
“What is it! Mom spit it our already!”
“Your mole didn’t have cancer! She said you were really lucky!”
Kian’s mom then took him out to dinner to celebrate. After dinner Kian meet up with all of his best bros. They all went to a party and smoked a bunch of pot and drank a lot. Kian felt so happy again, like he had nothing to worry about in his life at the moment. He was having a blast, then his girl friend Adriana walked into the party, ran over and jumped on him. She started making out with him. Until then the new girl Madison walked in and went over and sat near them. Kian stopped kissing her and ditched Adrina to go talk to Madison, when Kian got to her he offered to go get her a drink. So he walked to the keg, but on the way there he saw Adrina making out with his best bud Porter. Kian walked straight up to Adrina and pulled her aside and started yelling at her.
“Hannah really this is so wrong! First of all you are cheating on me when I am in the same room. Secondly Porter is one of my buds, or at least I thought…” Kian was cut off to the sound of Hannah crying.
“Kian…I’m….I’m…I’m so...I’m so sorry! I thought it was you.”
“Yeah because Porter really looks like me in every single way, its like we could be twins!”
“See yeah exactly you get it!”
“I was being sarcastic Adrina!” Said Kian
“Kian is everything okay?” Kian turned around and realized that Madison saw everything.
“Yeah I’m fine. Adrina we are over forever!”
Kian then left the party and started to walk all the way home, all of a sudden car lights appeared out of no where and stopped right where Kian was walking. Then the window rolled down and he heard Madison’s voice say “Hey Kian get in I’ll drive you home!”
“No, Madison it’s okay. I can walk”
“Hah I don’t want you out here all alone. Just get in. I want to keep you company.”
“Okay fine, but lets not go to my house, you should just drive around and park somewhere.”
“Okay sounds like a plan!”
So Madison started the car and drove off into the dark night. She then pulled up to the high school parking lot. She turned off the car and looked at Kian. Kian and Madison sat in her car for hours on end, talking and getting to know each other. But the weird thing was these two were so much a like. They both played soccer, they both had a cancerous mole, they both were scared of hair and midgets and all that jazz. It was as if they were one and the same, two pees in a pod. Kian then leaned in the kiss her, and she kissed him back. They stopped looked at each other, then kissed each other again. Kian looked at the clock and it read 3:04.
“Okay I think it is time for me to go home now. But thanks for making me feel better.”
“Oh yeah of course.” When they got to Kian’s house she leaned in and kissed him on the check. “Bye Kian ill see you tomorrow at school.”
“I had a great time Madison thank you again.”
“And again any time.”
At school the next day Kian went up to Madison and she looked worried or confused. “Madison, what is wrong?”
“Kian about last night, well I think we should keep this I mean us on the down low. I don’t want to be hated by Hannah she is really nice to me”
“What do you mean, we had such a great time last night. I was hopping we could start dating…”
“Well I don’t know, this is just too much for me on my third week here. And plus I don’t really want a boy friend right now. But I will be happy to be your friend.”
“Okay well do you even like me?”
“Yes of course I do, you are great! I just don’t want a boyfriend at the moment.”
“Okay well I like you a lot. I want to date you. But yeah we can just be friends.”
“Kian it is for the best.”
“No, yeah I get it.”
The next day Kian looked around the school for Porter. He felt bad and he wanted to talk to him. But while he was looking for him, Kian’s ex Adrina popped out of no where and hugged Kian. He then just pushed her aside and kept walking towards Porter. When he got to Porter Kian said “Hey I am really sorry I punched you in the face, but you should have made out with my girlfriend. Well actually my ex now but you get what I mean man.”
“Kian your “ex” girlfriend is a slut, and I was bet to get her to have sex with me and I did it.”
“Oh really Porter how much did you get?”
“I got $200 man. It’s awesome!”
“Wow you really think I care? Kian then punched Porter in the face and yelled “You don’t ever, and I mean ever treat a girl like that. What if someone was bet to have sex with you? Wouldn’t you feel embarrassed after wards? Well maybe you should go apologize to her because she probably feels like shit.” Kian just walked away and never looked back nor came back to school for the rest of the day. Instead he went and worked out because it always calms him down.
The next day at school, Kian saw Madison at her locker getting her books, and already Kian felt very relaxed and happy to be at school.
In the morning all he could do was stare at his Texas look a like mole, which was right down into between his man boobs. When he went to the doctor he got so nervous he almost peed his pants. The receptionist named Sally Gowinkle called his name and said “Kian Gunn? Kian the doctor is ready for you now.”
“Hey yeah i'm right here. Where should I go?”
“Just follow me, I’ll so you the way” said Sally
Right when Kian entered the room the doctor right away said “Where is that disgusting mole Kian?”
Kian then lifted up his shirt and pointed at it. The doctor was stunned.
“Wow you were right, it does look like Texas. You know I used to like right there” The doctor used his mole as a map and pointed out Dallas, Texas. “Yep those were the good days. But now I live here in Durango…” Kian cut him off right in the middle of his sentence.
“Can you just take a look at my mole and tell me what’s up with it.”
“Yeah sure kid…..mhmmm…ummm…uh oh…yeah we have a slight problem here.”
“What, what doctor what’s wrong?” said Kian
“Well your mole…well it could be cancerous.”
“Are you kidding me, really, cancerous? Wow well what do we do doc?”
“Well we will have to do a standard procedure and burn that mole off.”
“Okay well can you do it now?” said Kian very concerned.
“Well I guess, mhmm, yeah I can make you an appointment for later on today. How about you come back in around 4:30?”
“Umm okay I will! Thank you so much Sally” said Kian very happily.
When Kian left the hospital, he saw a midget walk in, he screamed, and ran like a little girl all the back to his house. He almost started crying he was so scared of midgets.
“So Kian, did you get your hideous mole taken off?”
“No mom not yet, but the doctor said it might be cancerous! So I am going back around 4:30 and getting it taken off.”
“Wow really cancerous! That is so scary.” She went over to hug Kian and started crying. Kian then also started to cry it was so tragic. “Let me take a good look at this mole honey.” Kian lifted up his shirt and she screamed “I have never seen anything so cool in my life. A mole in the shape of Texas who would have guessed! We should call in people to take pictures then maybe we, I mean you can become famous. Just think about it ‘Mole Man’ you would be on every newspaper!”
“Mom no, I don’t want people to know about this mole, and I want it off as soon as possible before I don’t know maybe before the cancer spreads into my body!”
Around 4:30 Kian left his house and headed straight towards the hospital, he ran as quickly as he could he just wanted to get this hideous Texas mole off of him. When he got to the hospital he ran right to the room he was in before and Sally was waiting for him there.
“What took you so long?” she said right as he walked in the door.
He glanced at her and said “What are you talking about it is exactly 4:30! I am on time!”
“Oh right, for a second I thought I said to be here at 4 but I guess not, wow I’m getting old!” she said laughing hysterically. “Okay now I need you to lay back, okay just breath nice and easy. Don’t move a muscle. Ready 1, 2, 3! Ah hah I got it. Now don’t move just yet.
“Really it was that quick? I didn’t feel a thing” The image of the doctor rippled in his mind. Then all of a sudden Kian woke up to a beeping noise, and he realized that he was in the emergency room. He looked down at his stomach and saw that there was a wrap around his stomach right where his mole used to be. Kian was so happy, he couldn’t hide it. So he screamed at the stop of his lungs yelling “Yes, I’m alive!”
He then saw his mother walking over to him telling him to be quite.
“Mom is everything okay?”
“Yes, they got the mole off, but they think that the cancer spread into your body already…..Kian hello are you there?”
“Yeah sorry I just don’t know what to say. This is such a big deal.”
“Sweetie don’t worry everything will be alright. I promise you. They don’t even know for sure if it spread in your body.”
“So you are telling me that, my hideous mole could have had cancer but the Doctor doesn’t know for sure or not. And it might have got into my system, so we don’t even know for sure if I have cancer. Wow this is fucked up….excuse my language mom…sorry but this is really ffuu….messed up!”
Kian’s mom then just sat there staring at him, she looked as if she was confused, like she didn’t know what the hell was going on. Then all of a sudden she screamed at the top of her lungs, she was like an animal in a fight to survive. When she was done screaming she started crying and went over to hug Kian. Ring, ring ring, ring ring, “hello? Yes this is her. Good news really? What is it? Ahh that is so stress relieving thank you Sally. Ahh thank you so much! God bless you!”
“Mom? Who was that?”
“That was Doctor Gowinkle, she has splendid good news!”
“What is it! Mom spit it our already!”
“Your mole didn’t have cancer! She said you were really lucky!”
Kian’s mom then took him out to dinner to celebrate. After dinner Kian meet up with all of his best bros. They all went to a party and smoked a bunch of pot and drank a lot. Kian felt so happy again, like he had nothing to worry about in his life at the moment. He was having a blast, then his girl friend Adriana walked into the party, ran over and jumped on him. She started making out with him. Until then the new girl Madison walked in and went over and sat near them. Kian stopped kissing her and ditched Adrina to go talk to Madison, when Kian got to her he offered to go get her a drink. So he walked to the keg, but on the way there he saw Adrina making out with his best bud Porter. Kian walked straight up to Adrina and pulled her aside and started yelling at her.
“Hannah really this is so wrong! First of all you are cheating on me when I am in the same room. Secondly Porter is one of my buds, or at least I thought…” Kian was cut off to the sound of Hannah crying.
“Kian…I’m….I’m…I’m so...I’m so sorry! I thought it was you.”
“Yeah because Porter really looks like me in every single way, its like we could be twins!”
“See yeah exactly you get it!”
“I was being sarcastic Adrina!” Said Kian
“Kian is everything okay?” Kian turned around and realized that Madison saw everything.
“Yeah I’m fine. Adrina we are over forever!”
Kian then left the party and started to walk all the way home, all of a sudden car lights appeared out of no where and stopped right where Kian was walking. Then the window rolled down and he heard Madison’s voice say “Hey Kian get in I’ll drive you home!”
“No, Madison it’s okay. I can walk”
“Hah I don’t want you out here all alone. Just get in. I want to keep you company.”
“Okay fine, but lets not go to my house, you should just drive around and park somewhere.”
“Okay sounds like a plan!”
So Madison started the car and drove off into the dark night. She then pulled up to the high school parking lot. She turned off the car and looked at Kian. Kian and Madison sat in her car for hours on end, talking and getting to know each other. But the weird thing was these two were so much a like. They both played soccer, they both had a cancerous mole, they both were scared of hair and midgets and all that jazz. It was as if they were one and the same, two pees in a pod. Kian then leaned in the kiss her, and she kissed him back. They stopped looked at each other, then kissed each other again. Kian looked at the clock and it read 3:04.
“Okay I think it is time for me to go home now. But thanks for making me feel better.”
“Oh yeah of course.” When they got to Kian’s house she leaned in and kissed him on the check. “Bye Kian ill see you tomorrow at school.”
“I had a great time Madison thank you again.”
“And again any time.”
At school the next day Kian went up to Madison and she looked worried or confused. “Madison, what is wrong?”
“Kian about last night, well I think we should keep this I mean us on the down low. I don’t want to be hated by Hannah she is really nice to me”
“What do you mean, we had such a great time last night. I was hopping we could start dating…”
“Well I don’t know, this is just too much for me on my third week here. And plus I don’t really want a boy friend right now. But I will be happy to be your friend.”
“Okay well do you even like me?”
“Yes of course I do, you are great! I just don’t want a boyfriend at the moment.”
“Okay well I like you a lot. I want to date you. But yeah we can just be friends.”
“Kian it is for the best.”
“No, yeah I get it.”
The next day Kian looked around the school for Porter. He felt bad and he wanted to talk to him. But while he was looking for him, Kian’s ex Adrina popped out of no where and hugged Kian. He then just pushed her aside and kept walking towards Porter. When he got to Porter Kian said “Hey I am really sorry I punched you in the face, but you should have made out with my girlfriend. Well actually my ex now but you get what I mean man.”
“Kian your “ex” girlfriend is a slut, and I was bet to get her to have sex with me and I did it.”
“Oh really Porter how much did you get?”
“I got $200 man. It’s awesome!”
“Wow you really think I care? Kian then punched Porter in the face and yelled “You don’t ever, and I mean ever treat a girl like that. What if someone was bet to have sex with you? Wouldn’t you feel embarrassed after wards? Well maybe you should go apologize to her because she probably feels like shit.” Kian just walked away and never looked back nor came back to school for the rest of the day. Instead he went and worked out because it always calms him down.
The next day at school, Kian saw Madison at her locker getting her books, and already Kian felt very relaxed and happy to be at school.
Ode To My Lips
Ode to my lips
You sit on my face
My hand lifts up and you get excited
I lick you waiting for the taste of food
You bite the candy I eat
You love it
You move to the words I say
I talk and talk
You get tired after awhile
But you keep moving and moving
You love it
You wear lipstick like it is clothes
From all the pretty colors I dress you with
From red to light pink
Your favorite is clear
You love it
You sit on my face
My hand lifts up and you get excited
I lick you waiting for the taste of food
You bite the candy I eat
You love it
You move to the words I say
I talk and talk
You get tired after awhile
But you keep moving and moving
You love it
You wear lipstick like it is clothes
From all the pretty colors I dress you with
From red to light pink
Your favorite is clear
You love it
Magnetic Poem
Life
Juicy dreams of passion
Find power
To chase anything
In that moment of new fears
The quality of surprising beliefs
Reveals new lessons to life
The beauty of love
Playing quick on the beach
With sexy energy and many new faces
Juicy dreams of passion
Find power
To chase anything
In that moment of new fears
The quality of surprising beliefs
Reveals new lessons to life
The beauty of love
Playing quick on the beach
With sexy energy and many new faces
Imitation
Bird Like
With wings like an eagle
I soared through the blue sky
There were no clouds out today
It was a good day
I got hungry
So I flew straight towards the water
I put my beck straight in the river
I pulled out a little fish
I ate it with not the slightest problem
It slid down my throat so fast
It felt slimy
I was not used to this
With wings like an eagle
I soared through the blue sky
There were no clouds out today
It was a good day
I got hungry
So I flew straight towards the water
I put my beck straight in the river
I pulled out a little fish
I ate it with not the slightest problem
It slid down my throat so fast
It felt slimy
I was not used to this
Imagist
Swollen Members
There was a big tent in the middle of the park
It was white with snow dropping off the sides
There were colors from green to red
They were streaming out the door
There were loud noises
Happy, drunk people screaming
Loud music, rapping
He was sitting outside the tent
Waiting waving at me as if he knew me
He stood up
He was wearing these tan pants
Walking, his little legs moved back and forth back and forth
Was he dancing?
More people streamed out of this tent
There was a girl
Wearing the brightest tights
They were neon green
She stood out form anyone I saw
Brown hair flowing down past her breast
There was a big tent in the middle of the park
It was white with snow dropping off the sides
There were colors from green to red
They were streaming out the door
There were loud noises
Happy, drunk people screaming
Loud music, rapping
He was sitting outside the tent
Waiting waving at me as if he knew me
He stood up
He was wearing these tan pants
Walking, his little legs moved back and forth back and forth
Was he dancing?
More people streamed out of this tent
There was a girl
Wearing the brightest tights
They were neon green
She stood out form anyone I saw
Brown hair flowing down past her breast
Ode To Dottie
August 15, 1993
When you arrived
You were black and white
A beautiful little dog
Stuffed but real to me
There through all my hard times
From fights with friends
To my hissy fits
Rolling on the ground
I through you across the room
Through the washing machine several times
I spilt juice to lemonade on you
Now you aren’t soft
Sometimes I tried to feed you
Sleeping by my side every night
You even cuddle with Shadow
She kisses you
Everybody loves you
Even I miss you at school
You are my life
You are my Dottie
When you arrived
You were black and white
A beautiful little dog
Stuffed but real to me
There through all my hard times
From fights with friends
To my hissy fits
Rolling on the ground
I through you across the room
Through the washing machine several times
I spilt juice to lemonade on you
Now you aren’t soft
Sometimes I tried to feed you
Sleeping by my side every night
You even cuddle with Shadow
She kisses you
Everybody loves you
Even I miss you at school
You are my life
You are my Dottie
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